HIS WAYS

There is a degree of confidence that comes with knowledge.  Assurance rises through the fullfillment of an agreeable plan.  We rest comfortably while our lives unfold in accordance to the foreseeable circumstances of normal.

We rarely have difficulty when our thoughts are aligned with His and His ways correspond to ours.  The course of life is comfortable while the heavens seem in line with the earth and God does not demand anything beyond our normal aspirations.

What happens when our ways diverge from His;
when His ways cause pain and His thoughts seem cruel?

The worlds of the created can fall apart in the of a span of a day.  Within a week, I received the news that my Sister-in-Law and my cousin have limited time on this earth.  It appears that God’s ways are truly not my ways.  His thoughts assuredly are not my thoughts.  The diagnosis of terminal shocks one out of the delusion of normal and into the confusion of a denied reality.

People die before the time that I had prescribed for them.
Families grieve losses cloaked in the darkness of the unknowable.
Minds are clouded in the defeat of impending death.

This world sucks.

The delusion of normal is a dangerous mindset.  The delusion of the world as wonderful and a place of paradise cannot abide with the reality of suffering.  We were never promised a world of delights.  We were never promised a world unbroken. We were never promised a world without pain.

That is why this world had to be overcome.

We were told that this world contains suffering even as we thrash beneath its hand.  We were told that evil rules even as we look away from the evidence.  We were told that there are mysteries beyond our understanding even as we try to deduce them.

This is why our home is not here.  This world had to be overcome in order for us to escape and enter into true rest.  A terminal diagnosis is yet another reminder that we need a redeemer, a rescuer, who will take us to our rest.  I do not love this world.  I want to go home.

I am thankful that His ways are better than mine.
I am thankful that His thoughts are beyond mine.
I am thanful that He is good.
I am thankful that He has overcome this world.
I am thankful that His love flows.

When normal crumbles, faith must remain.  When knowledge fades, hope must shine.  When defeat abounds, love must abide.

 

 

 

“FALLING INTO OPTIMAL” – Dec. 15

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”  Romans 5:3-5

I finally resolved to get on the trainer and spin.

For thirty minutes, I sat in the comfort of my couch, glancing into the adjoining room at the taunting image of my bike on the trainer.  The passage of time persuaded me that if a workout was going to happen, I had to get started.  So, I grumbled my way upstairs to change into some workout clothes thinking, “I just need to get this over with”.

Work clothes were quickly exchanged for cycling garb, a glass filled with water, and my new Surface Pro tablet tucked under my arm (I have taken to watching Netflix whileI spin; it helps to pass the time).  I began my descent into my personnel pain cave, quickly shuffling down the stairs with my stocking feet.

About two-thirds down the carpeted stairs, my feet suddenly slipped from one stair run, skipped off the next, and in an instant my balance was emptied while my hands remained full.  That would not last long.  Water splashed in my face as my tablet was flung down the remaining steps.  I crashed down on the steps, feet and arms in the air, without any time breaking my fall.  A stair rung bearing deeply into my ribs under the brunt of my falling mass.

I must have rocked the foundation of the house because my wife and kids were at the bottom of the stairs by the time I slid to the landing, wondering what had happened.

I would not be going for a spin on that night.

My fall happened nine days ago.  The carpet burns have healed nicely.  However, my ribs are another matter.  I had hoped that they were just bruised but as the days have passed, I have begun to accept that there might be more damage.  A couple ribs may have been broken; not really broken but just cracked a little bit; probably just bruised deeply.

There are some things that no cyclist can resist, particularly those who live in areas that have real winters – a moderate day in December.  We had just such a day, six days after my fall.  It was perfect weather, no falling moisture, temperatures around forty degrees, winds moderate.  Bruised ribs or not, I could not let this day slip by.

I left work early and soon had my tri-bike out on the rural roads near my home.  I quickly discovered that my ribs were happy only in one position.  Everything was pleasant, as long as I stayed down on my aero-bars.  It was not nearly as pleasant entering and exiting the aero-position.  As a result, I had one of my best rides since I stayed in the most aero-dynamic position for duration of the ride.

Sometimes not being able to assume our preferred position
forces us in the optimal position.

(That is me on a tri-bike, wet roads, taking a selfie with broken ribs.
I didn’t say it was a good idea, just an irresistible one.)

My ribs got me to thinking about suffering.  I know how I fell down my stairs, but don’t know why.  I don’t know why most bad things happen.   However, the Bible consistently teaches that suffering is not necessarily a bad thing.  In fact, we are told that we should rejoice in our suffering.  I am not very good at rejoicing in my suffering.

Yet, I wonder if suffering is similar to my cycling experience.  Suffering forces us out of our preferences.  Suffering forces out of our strengths.  Suffering forces us out of our self-reliance.

Suffering forces us out of our preferred position and into the optimal position.

“Heartache forces us to embrace God out of desperate, urgent need.
God is never closer than when your heart is aching.”
~Joni Eareckson Tada

Anyone who has suffered, knows that it will force you down on your knees in reliance upon God and keep you there.  What could be more optimal than that?

That optimal position will produce endurance, character, and hope.  Those are all exceptional results – we just have to stay down to receive them.

“Suffering provides the gym equipment on which my faith can be exercised.”
~Joni Eareckson Tada

PRAYER: Lord, I pray that you will heal my ribs quickly.  Help me to understand suffering.  Help me to accept suffering in my own life and the lives of others.  Father, do your work in us.  Don’t leave us as we are.  Create in us the hope that will not disappoint by the means that you choose.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen

“TRUSTING GOD WITH MY SANITY” – Nov 9

“But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit was hardened so that he dealt proudly, he was brought down from his kingly throne, and his glory was taken from him.  He was driven from among the children of mankind, and his mind was made like that of a beast, and his dwelling was with the wild donkeys, He was fed grass like an ox, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven, until he knew that the Most High God rules the kingdom of mankind and sets over it whom he will.  Daniel 5:20-21

I was recently watching a commercial for the Wounded Warrior Project.  The warrior they were highlighting had suffered a severe head injury.  Mentally, he is no longer the man his wife married.  He was expending tremendous effort to learn basic motor skills that a few years earlier had taken no thought.

However, the damage to this soldier’s brain has effected more than his ability to control his body.  My heart broke for this family when his wife explained that she now considered her husband among the children she cares for.  Her husband is no longer the decisive, independent, cheerful man that he once was.  His brain injury took more than what he could do.  It took who he had been.

Patrick Hoesly / Foter.com / CC BY

This story stirred within me a hidden fear.  I, like most people, do not relish the thought of a debilitating injury.  However, I have less fear of injuries and diseases that affect the body but don’t damage the mind.  While a person’s body may not function, they remain themselves as long as their mind functions.

I find the loss of my mind a fearful prospect.  Prior to public speaking, I have gotten a twinge of fear about sudden onset of tourette syndrome; what if I drop an f-bomb in the middle of a sermon or started barking during a City Council meeting.  When I can’t remember something common, I will go through a self-diagnosis for Alzheimer’s.  Depression’s thief of emotional balance, freaks me out.

Brain injuries, mental illness, Alzheimer’s, all defile the sanctuary of the mind and change the personality of a person.  I have difficulty separating my mind from my identity.  If my mind becomes lost, does the only person I’ve ever known myself to be, cease to exist?  Am I merely a unique network of synapses whose existence depends upon healthy tissue, proper chemistry, and the timely firing of neurons?

By my mind, I do all things.
By my mind, I know the world around me.
By my mind, I know my wife, children, and all whom I love.
By my mind, I read the scriptures and know my God.
By my mind, the world knows me.

ecstaticist / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

We learn in Daniel that Nebuchadnezzar lost his mind.  Today, he would have been institutionalized rather than being left to eat grass and live exposed.  However, his reduction to beast was not due to random mental illness, an injury, or blood clot.

God took Nebuchadnezzar’s sanity. 

madamepsychosis / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

I do not know the means by which he was deprived of his ability to reason but I know who its author was.  All that Nebuchadnezzar was; his position, wealth, status, intelligence, and personality were in God’s hands.  God took Nebuchadnezzar’s sanity from him so that he would “…know that the Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will.” (Daniel 4:25)

I don’t know all the why’s behind malfunctioning brains.  I don’t know why age eventually strips everyone of clear thought.  However, I do know that God is in control of all things, including the function of brains.  I do know that God continued to know Nebuchadnezzar even when he did not know himself.

Therefore, I do not need to fear the loss of my mind.

Institut Douglas / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

God knows me.  I am His.  If my sanity leaves me, He has the power to keep me.  He will continue to know me even if the person I was ceases to be recognizable.  I am more than a network of synapses. There is a difference between soul and mind, even if I cannot perceive the difference.  The failure of my mind does not erase my soul.  No matter where suffering afflicts us, God keeps the souls of those who are His and brings them home.

God is great and greatly to be praised.  All that we have, even our sanity, is a gift from him.  All is His.  The Most High rules the kingdom of men and gives it to whom He will.  He is a good Father and knows what His children need.  He will take care of His children when they cannot take care of themselves.

Therefore, He can be trusted with all that we are and all that we have, even our sanity.

PRAYER: Lord, I lift up all my brothers and sisters in Christ who are suffering through brain injuries and mental illnesses.  I pray that you will make yourself known to their troubled minds.  I pray that you will grant them a peace and understanding beyond the function of their mind.  Father, thank you for my mind.  Thank you for the gift of sanity.  Thank you enabling me to know myself and more importantly to know you.  Forgive me for my pride and fear.  I praise You, my Lord and Savior.  You truly are the most High God and all things are yours.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son,  Jesus Christ.   Amen.

“SUMMER HEAT” – August 14

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.  He is like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”  Jeremiah 17:7-8

Utah desert Mist (Photo credit: Loco Steve)

My personal battle with gophers continues but the media has changed.  The gophers continue to mound the debris of their subterranean creations on the surface of my field.  However, these mounds are no longer heaps of malleable brown clay containing the lingering moisture of a long winter.  The heat of summer has wrung the soil dry.  My field is speckled by tan mounds of wisping dust, dug from earth hardened by months of unrelenting heat.

The sun scorches this field in its natural condition.  Agriculture fruit does not sprout from its soil since irrigation water is beyond the reach of even the most adventurous root.  The green along the ditch banks stands in sole defiance against the brown of August heat.  A canopy of green aligns the irrigation waste ditch running below this waterless field.  Trees have sprung up to the sky and their leaves remain green no matter the number of days whose temperatures eclipse the century mark.

English: Oasis near Ica in Peru (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The heat cannot brown the leaves of these trees.  These trees have sent out their roots beneath the source of sustaining water.  These trees have no reason to fear the bleakness of their surroundings because all that can been seen is not what is ensuring their life.

We all go through dry times.  We all will experience the spiritual bleakness of an August month.  The heat of circumstances can feel as if it were wringing dry the freshness of our soul.  As the spiritual drought comes on, we might have the tendency to panic.  We might become dejected and anxious.  We might allow our eyes to go in search of refreshment to stave off our parched sensibilities.

We have no need to fear when we trust in the Lord.  When we place our trust in the Lord, it is like roots sunk deep under a mighty river.  The refreshing living water that will sustain us through any scorching trial comes through the conduits of trust.  A Child of God can continue to be a productive oasis even in the bleakest of desert because they are not nourished by what is on the surface.  Their trust is in what is unseen.  Their assurance is in things hoped for.

I have walked through many a dry spell.  Those have been discouraging times that I have not enjoyed.  However, there have been lessons for me in each exposure to the intense heat life.

The most important lesson of these trials has been trust.  When I feel a drought coming on, my tendency has been to get anxious.  I don’t like the heat.  I don’t like the discomfort that I know is coming.  I love the freshness of a spiritual spring.  I relish the vitality that comes to me when my surroundings are drenching me with the water of encouragement and joy.  New growth and fruit comes naturally and easy in the spring of my soul.

I then have to put my trust in the promises of God.  Trust in God pumps His living water to a soul being wrung dry from the heat of a dry season.  That is why we are blessed.  We are blessed because through the power of a great and living God we can thrive through any barrenness.  We are blessed because we have a Father in heaven who gives us what we need, when we need it.  He is the one who sustains us when we feel like we are going to shrivel up and blow away.

We just need to continue to trust Him.

PRAYER: Lord, you know how much I dislike dry seasons.  However, I know that I need them.  I know that I need to learn how to trust you more.  I know that I don’t trust you like I should.  Help me to trust you more.  Thank you for all the blessings that flow from trusting in you.  You are so good to me.  You have sustained me through so many droughts.  I know that you will carry me through the dry seasons that are yet to come.  Thank you.  Help me to be fruitful in all seasons.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son, Jesus Christ.   Amen.

“BELIEVING DISTORTED TRUTHS” – June 5

“Why do you hide your face and count me as your enemy?”  Job 13:-24

What is truth?  What is divine truth?

Truth is a frustratingly illusive prey.

In one moment, truth is a lifelong possession.
It is infused into our very soul.
The divine is the source of every breath.
Our comfort and security are birthed from its kernel.
Steps of faith easily emanate from our very being.
Life without the sweet friend of truth is beyond imagination.

 In an instance, our sweet friend can seem a theory.
The divine is as foreign as oil is to water.
Breath of the spiritual is a struggle of the drowning.
There is no security in words for the one being crushed.
A lonely numbness consumes all feeling of soles stepping in faith.
The dread of never knowing our sweet friend is terrifying.

 Why is truth illusive?  Why does it seem so real in the morning and so illusionary in the evening?

The difficulty with knowing truth is that its perception is filtered through our fickle mind.  The divine truths of God never change.  It is our lens to the truth in our own hearts that is flawed by our perception of self.  As we vacillate in feelings, our lens on true reality is deformed and distorted.

Job had concluded in his pain and loss that God was his enemy.  God was never Job’s enemy.  Job’s feelings had distorted the Truth.  He had viewed his circumstances in despair and erroneously concluded that he was hated when in fact he was dearly loved.

No man is immune to the distorting influence of his own mind rebelling against the desires of a redeemed soul.  We can become convinced of untruths spawned by the twisting power of pain, hurt, disappointment, discouragement, and depression.  These powers cannot touch the character of God.  Our feelings can only effect how we perceive the world around us.

This is why we must know the promises of God.  This is why we must not trust our feelings.  This is why we must learn to preach the gospel to our trouble souls.  It is when the reality of our Lord seems to have slipped from our grasp, that we fix our sight beyond what we actually see.  We are not God’s enemy even when we feel unloved.  We are not abandoned even when we feel utterly alone.  We will feel again even though we are numb.  The light is still burning even when we are groping in the darkness.  Purpose is still in place even though all we feel is meaninglessness.

Cling to the Truth in days of sweetness and in those of bitter despair.

Know God’s promises as a song of praise in the light and a beacon of hope in the darkness.

The promises of our Lord safeguard us from believing the lies of our distorted perceptions.

PRAYER: Lord, thank you for not changing.  Thank you for being a firm foundation that I know even when I don’t feel it.  Thank you for giving me all of the promises of your Word.  Lord, give me clear eyes.  Help me to battle my own mind.  Keep me from being driven by my emotions.  Keep me from pursuing the lies of my feelings.  Ground me in Truth.  Bind me to you.  Shackle me to your Word.  Write it upon my heart.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son, Jesus Christ.   Amen.

“DON’T PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN” – May 18

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”  Romans 5:3-5

I have a bicycle ride that I think of as my little hill of pain.  This ride has a short span of road that is only ¾ of a mile long but it has three switch-backs and a continuous grade of over 10%.  We recently rode the ten miles out to this location of personal affliction and then up my little hill twice.

Oh, how I suffered.

On our initial ascent, I was very quickly down into my lowest gear and standing on my petals in a personal battle with gravity.  The grade is unrelenting and with each foot of elevation gained my poor legs increasingly voiced their displeasure.  In my desperation not to tip-over, I began to zig-zagg across the width of the road in a pathetic attempt to find some relief from the vertical grade of the road.

When I got to the top, I was a mess.  My feet were a little numb, my thighs stung from way too much lactic acid, my calves were threatening a massive cramp, and my lungs felt like I had just cooked them over a campfire.  I found a nice easy gear that allowed me to spin away my nausea as I joined my riding buddy.  He was riding back to me in annoyingly good spirits and asked me the question that I knew he would ask, “wanna do it again?”

The look on my face was sufficient to convey my displeasure and caused my buddy to laugh at me.  After a few more moments of spinning, my lungs were once again capable of powering words.  I explained to my compatriot that there is a difference between wanting to and knowing that I should.  I did not really want to ride up that hill in the first place but I knew that I should ride back up that hill.  It would be good for me.  So, we turned around, raced down the hill, and experienced the joy of hill climbing one more time.  It was worse the second time.

Climbing hills on a bicycle is just not very fun.  It is particularly not that much fun when you are training to climb hills.  The reason I go out to this particular hill of pain is because I have a hope for July of this year.  There is a ride called the Four Summit Challenge.  It is a ride over to two ranges and then back again.  The total ride has 5,714 feet of vertical climbing over 72 miles.  From what I understand, it is an absolutely beautiful ride.  I am looking forward to it.  It should be a fun day.  However, I do not have a lot of hope in being able to do that ride unless I can get some climbing training in before July.  I will not be able to enjoy the beauty of that ride if I am in agony.  Therefore, I am training on hills.

The key to climbing is to understand that it has less to do with what is going on with your muscles than it does with what is going on in your melon.

My little hill of pain is training me mentally just as much as it is training me physically.  I know that by being able to recover in a couple minutes that I can physically ride up this hill.  I have the physical endurance and strength to do it.  I am now working on the character to do it.  There are a variety of times when I was climbing my hill when I really wanted to put my foot down and end the discomfort.  I could stop it at anytime by just lowering my foot and admitting defeat.  However, I would never make it to the top of the hill if I gave up.  I would never attain what I am hoping to attain in July.  Suffering on my bike makes me stronger and gives me endurance; endurance gives me confidence and builds my character; character allows me to hope; without hope I would never try anything.

Suffering is just a fact of life.  No one likes suffering.  If you like suffering for suffering sake, then you are a little bent in the head.  However, suffering is unavoidable.  Everyone will go through difficult periods in their lives of varying degrees and durations.  Since going through some form of hardship is guaranteed, then we should determine beforehand what we are determined to gain from it.

We are promised that our souls can benefit from suffering but that gain is not guaranteed.

The reality is that suffering has caused many people to quit on their faith.  It has caused many to give up on their hope.  Hardship has resulted in some putting their foot down and stagnating in their faith for years.  Suffering is not just about enduring until life can get back to normal.  Life may never get back to normal for some. Trials are given to us to mature our faith in a way that only difficult times can do.  Suffering trains us mentally.  I don’t want to diminish physical pain and heartache, but the implications of suffering to our faith come from how we approach it in our minds.  Suffering can cause us to grow in our faith if we fight the battle of the mind.

We will probably go through struggles in this life that are beyond our strength.  God did not give you specific trials because He knows you have the strength to handle them.  They are given to us to teach us that we do not have the strength to carry them on our own.

“You can never learn that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.”
Corrie ten Boom

Suffering causes us to seek strength outside of ourselves.  God has promised to be our strength when we have no strength.  His strength is all that we need.  A lesson of suffering is that we should not be living in our own strength at any time, much less when we face hardship.  The strength to endure is never in question for the child of God, who is trusting in their Lord, because we have a source of unlimited strength from our Father.  Suffering forces us to draw strength from beyond ourselves.  Hardship trains us in how to rely upon God for everything we need, including the strength to endure in difficult times.

Therefore, our challenge is to not give up. 

This is where character comes in.  Suffering sculpts our character.  Suffering teaches us who we can rely upon when the going gets tough.  The character of a child of God, who has been trained by suffering, is formed by faithfully following Christ through pain, discouragement, loss, and tears.  Their hope is grounded in a character that knows that they don’t have to put their foot down no matter how bad it gets.  They are confident that they will have all the strength that they need, when they need it.  They know that their Savior will be with them through all the pain and anguish; that He will never leave them nor forsake them.  Their faith can survive anything; they can endure anything because their hope is secure.  The Savior is sufficient.

Suffering teaches us that our hope is attainable.  How can you be confident that you will persevere to the end?  If you have never suffered, than your confidence is theoretical.  Suffering puts theory into practice.  Suffering shows us that our hope is not a fool’s dream.  It grounds us in the confidence that God can and will bring us to glory and we have the strength to fight the good fight to the end.  It is when we have endured through hardship that we learn from the practice of our faith that nothing can pluck a child of the King from His hand.

If you are currently blessed with a period of tranquility, then prepare yourself.  Determine in your mind now, to make the most of the suffering when it inevitably comes.  Prepare your heart to be trained and taught by hard times.  Draw your strength from God in the good times so that you will be ready seek your strength from Him when you need it most.  Stack the kindling of the goodness of your Lord and His word around you now so that when the darkness of trials come, the Spirit can ignite the treasures stored in your heart to be your beacon in the night.  Learn to recognize your Savior’s voice on the mountain top so that you can follow His whisper through the valley.

If you are enduring hardship at this time, then may I encourage you to lift up your eyes to your Lord and cry out to Him.  He is faithful and He will give you the strength that you need.  He can sustain you in your weakness.  He will sustain you for He loves you.  Don’t give up.  Don’t put your foot down.  He is sufficient and He will turn all the suffering you are going through into something gloriously good.  Hang onto the only one who can sustain you.  Don’t give up; Don’t put your foot down!

“Hardship often prepares ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”
CS Lewis

PRAYER: Lord, I don’t want to suffer.  Father, you know that I don’t want to go through trials and tribulations.  However, I know that You will never leave me and You will never forsake me.  I know that You will give me the strength that I need, when I need it.  Forgive me for living in my own strength.  Lord, prepare me for the trials that I have ahead of me.  Teach me how to rely upon You in all things, at all times.  Prepare me to suffer well to your glory.  Help me to be a beacon while I walk through dark times.  Thank you for the assurance that it will be well with my soul no matter what the future holds.  I praise  you O’ Lord and pray this in the precious name of your Son, Jesus Christ.   Amen.