HIS WAYS

There is a degree of confidence that comes with knowledge.  Assurance rises through the fullfillment of an agreeable plan.  We rest comfortably while our lives unfold in accordance to the foreseeable circumstances of normal.

We rarely have difficulty when our thoughts are aligned with His and His ways correspond to ours.  The course of life is comfortable while the heavens seem in line with the earth and God does not demand anything beyond our normal aspirations.

What happens when our ways diverge from His;
when His ways cause pain and His thoughts seem cruel?

The worlds of the created can fall apart in the of a span of a day.  Within a week, I received the news that my Sister-in-Law and my cousin have limited time on this earth.  It appears that God’s ways are truly not my ways.  His thoughts assuredly are not my thoughts.  The diagnosis of terminal shocks one out of the delusion of normal and into the confusion of a denied reality.

People die before the time that I had prescribed for them.
Families grieve losses cloaked in the darkness of the unknowable.
Minds are clouded in the defeat of impending death.

This world sucks.

The delusion of normal is a dangerous mindset.  The delusion of the world as wonderful and a place of paradise cannot abide with the reality of suffering.  We were never promised a world of delights.  We were never promised a world unbroken. We were never promised a world without pain.

That is why this world had to be overcome.

We were told that this world contains suffering even as we thrash beneath its hand.  We were told that evil rules even as we look away from the evidence.  We were told that there are mysteries beyond our understanding even as we try to deduce them.

This is why our home is not here.  This world had to be overcome in order for us to escape and enter into true rest.  A terminal diagnosis is yet another reminder that we need a redeemer, a rescuer, who will take us to our rest.  I do not love this world.  I want to go home.

I am thankful that His ways are better than mine.
I am thankful that His thoughts are beyond mine.
I am thanful that He is good.
I am thankful that He has overcome this world.
I am thankful that His love flows.

When normal crumbles, faith must remain.  When knowledge fades, hope must shine.  When defeat abounds, love must abide.

 

 

 

“COLONOSCOPY OF THE HEART” – Sept. 17

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.  And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:11-13

I have an anniversary to celebrate.  This year is my ten year anniversary of being cancer free.

I am celebrating with a colonoscopy! 

I realize that a colonoscopy is not much of a celebration but one thing I learned about cancer is that it is best to catch it early.  I hate getting a colonoscopy but that is the best method for catching cancer of the colon early.

I hated having cancer more than the procedure.  Therefore, I will drink the cocktail that will liquefy the contents of my gut.  I will allow a camera to travel a passage that should have remained secret.  I will relinquish a productive day to anesthesia’s groggy recovery since I have no desire to watch the live action.

I don’t get a colonoscopy because I like them.  I get a colonoscopy because I don’t want to die from colon cancer.

How foolish is it to refuse to have a colonoscopy because the procedure is uncomfortable and embarrassing?

How foolish is it to refuse to act when the colonoscopy reveals a growth?

Sometimes, the word of God feels like a colonoscopy.

“Oh Lord, don’t go there!”  is my thoughts when the Word pierces into the secrets of my intentions and thoughts.  I do not particularly like it when the duplicity of my heart is revealed.  I am not fond of being exposed to the eyes of Him to whom I must give account.

I come to the word of God and allow it to do its work because I don’t want die in unbelief. (Hebrews 3:19)

No one can fool the probing inspection of God.  All of our attitudes, thoughts, biases, and agendas are exposed to the Great Physician’s examination.  However, we can harden our hearts when we hear God’s diagnosis.  We can justify our disobedience.  We can rationalize our rebellion.  We can close His Word and refuse to acknowledge His authority.

How foolish is it to refuse to expose your heart to God’s word because you know the process will be uncomfortable and embarrassing?

How foolish is it to refuse to act when our unbelief and disobedience is revealed?

God has given us His word for our own good.  He has not left us in our rebellion.  Most of the time, I don’t like what His word shows me about myself but I know if is for my own good.  Therefore, I try to come to His word with a soft heart.  I want Him to do His work in me.  I know that polyps of unbelief still reside in me.  I want them removed.  I know that the remainder of my spiritual walk on this earth will entail the uncomfortable and embarrassing examinations of the word of God.

I want that.  I need that, daily.  Therefore, I will echo the words of David:

Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts. (Hebrews 4:7b)

PRAYER: Lord, thank you for softening my heart.  Thank you for your Spirit and your Word that reveal the unbelief of my heart.  Help me in my unbelief.  Continue to remove the cancer of disobedience and rebellion from my being.   Do your work in me.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son,  Jesus Christ.   Amen.

“COME DEATH…BUT NOT YET” – July 24

“Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith.”  Philippians 1:25

I can relate to Paul’s longing for death.  For Paul, he knew that it was far better to depart and be with Christ.  I believe in the sweet release of death and look forward to being with Christ.  However, there is a difference between longing for what is far better behind the veil of death and simply wanting to escape the stress and unpleasantness of life.

Dark Night (Photo credit: Mat Sheridan)

Typically, I only think about death when the view on this side is bleak.  “O Lord, if you are going to take me, then now would be a good time,” has been a prayer that has crossed my lips on the eve of an important test that I was ill prepared for.  The oppression of discouragement and meaninglessness leads the eye to look to for what is far better beyond the horizon of life.  Feelings of being ill-suited for this world and without a role tend to increase the desire to go where you know you will belong.

On those dark nights, escape has been my primary motivation behind the desire to leave this world.

The duplicity of my motivation was revealed when the doctor explained the cancer that was confronting my mortality.  Suddenly, the attractive escape of death was not as appealing.  There was within me an earnest desire to remain here a little longer to help raise my kids and grow old with my wife.  “O Lord, if it is your will  then your will be done but please give me a few more years.  Allow me to be a father and husband a little longer,” was my prayer when the reality of death knocked.

The Lord graciously granted that prayer and I have been cancer free for more than ten years.  However, the earnestness of being purposeful wanes as the years have removed the palpable taste of death’s reality.  The taste may diminish but the reality remains.  We all are a missed heartbeat away from crossing the veil into the arms of our Savior.  The time that we have been give is precious and should not be wasted.

For those who are in Christ, it is far better for the Lord to take us home.  So, why doesn’t he?  We are here for a purpose:

For to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.  (Philippians 1:24)

sunrise silhouette (Photo credit: LJ Mears)

Like Paul, we remain in this world not for our own account but for others.  We all have a necessary purpose that we can fulfill in the time that God has given us on this earth.  We are here to help others progress in their faith.  Our purpose is to increase the joy in their faith.  It should be said of every departing brother and sister that they brought joy, encouragement, and progress to the faith of those in their life.

We are never too old or young to bring joy and encourage progress in someone else’s faith.
We are never too immature or mature to be about the purpose of others.

My hope and prayer on the day that death is allowed to take me is that my life will have brought joy to the faith of those I love.  I want those in whom I have invested my life to say that they have progressed in their faith because of the time that we were together.

That will be a life well spent.

PRAYER: Lord, thank you for every day that you have given me.  Forgive me for not making the most of them.  Forgive me for allowing my limited days to be consumed with thoughts of my self.  Father, I want to live purposefully.  I want those whom you have placed in my life to be joyful as a result of my love for you.  I want those whom you have called to go further in their sanctification as a result of seeing my desire to seek you.  Lord, may you grant this purpose to my life.  Keep it in the forefront of my intentions.  Help me to be purposeful with the fleeting hours that I have been given.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son, Jesus Christ.   Amen.