“PHYSIOGNOMY OF MY CHILDREN” – Feb 24

“The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.  The sun shall not strike you by day nor the moon by night.”  Psalm 121:5-6

I have been reading Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.  I came upon a line that caused me to pause:

There are no trivial facts in humanity, nor little leaves in vegetation.  It is the physiognomy of the years that the physiognomy of the century is composed.  (Victor Hugo, Les Miserables page 77)

Physiognomy is a wonderful word that I had to look up; it means the general form or appearance; facial expression, especially when regarded as indicative of character or ethnic. There is a great truth in this quote.  The general character of a century is composed of the character of the years.  It is the small things of life that compose the great; there are no small leaves in vegetation. I pray that my children will grow to be individuals of character.  I want them to walk all their days in the Spirit and know deeply the love of God.  I want the physiognomy of their childhood years to compose the physiognomy of their adult life. Childhood forms much of our adult life.  Just like a giant shade tree on a hot summer day, we hope to shade our children from the hurt and regret of a rebellious world.  My wife and I endeavor to spread  a canopy of love over our children.  A canopy composed of thousands of leaves.

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/461564763

The grand teachable moments are the parent’s white whales.  We long for those moments when we can speak of great truths and profound lessons.  These giant leaves do happen, but I believe they are much more rare than we want to admit.  The more abundant and therefore the greatest composition of a parent’s canopy of love are the small leaves. The small leaves demonstrating the reality of the transforming work of the Spirit in a child of God:

How we speak to our spouse; The control of our anger; The kindness we show to strangers; Daily love of scripture; Devotion to prayer; Generosity to the ungenerous; Speaking truth even when it costs; Obedience to speed limits even when late; All those words of encouragement spoken in love.

Each of these acts flourishes like thousands of small leaves shading the childhood of our children while they are under our care.  There are no little leaves in the life of a Christian.  Every fruit of the Spirit harvested from my life and the life of my wife contributes to the canopy over our lives together in Christ.  That canopy shades our children’s hearts from being hardened by a parching world.  It is a great work of the Spirit. Doubtless, there are grand leaves of teachable moments in our canopy but they certainly are outnumbered by all the little evidences of a man and woman in love with their Savior. I know that the salvation of my children is not within my hands. Yet, I have faith that nothing is too hard for God; even the conversion of my children.  We live and pray expectantly.  The Lord our keeper shades the life of my wife and I.  We have faith that His shade upon our lives will create the perfect environment for Him to draw our children to Himself. There are no little acts in the life of a Christian.  There are always little eyes watching.

It is the trivial acts of daily life that composes the physiognomy of my life.

It is the physiognomy of an individual life that the physiognomy of a family is composed.

It is the physiognomy of a family that the physiognomy of a church is composed.

It is the physiognomy of the church that the physiognomy of a generation is composed.

There are no trivial acts in a Christian’s life, nor little leaves of the Spirit’s fruit.

PRAYER: Lord, thank you from my children.  Father, I pray that you will draw them to yourself.  Open their eyes to the magnificence of who you are.  Give them ears to hear the call of their Shepherd.  Create in them a clean heart that comes only from being a new creation in Christ, your Son and the redeemer of their souls.  Help me be the parent that they need.  Help me to show them what it means to walk in the Spirit.  Let the shade of your grace keep me; may that same grace flow through my life to shade them as they grow in you.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen

“THE CURSE OF WORK” – August 16

“Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us…Now such person we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.”  2 Thessalonians 3:6, 3:12

Digging Ditch (Photo credit: Mozul)

I never realized the challenge of my parents.  They gave me chores.  They pushed and prodded me to complete my work; work that often sprang forth from their imagination.  Diabolical activities, motivated to make my life miserable.  They often succeeded.

I did not know what my parents were doing at the time.  I definitely did not appreciate their intentions.  I thought they were just profiting from free labor.

I now know that those hours in the sweltering sun produced more than a crooked fence, manicured lawn, or stacked hay.  My parents were building in me a work ethic.  They were teaching me what work feels like.

Work is a curse.  Labor does not feel good.  It might be rewarding.  It might feel satisfying but work by its very nature is work.  My natural inclination leans toward leisure.  I like vacations.  I enjoy a lazy Sunday afternoon.  Work often gets in the way of all the entertainment that I am drawn to.

However, work is so much more that earning a living and being responsible.  My parents were not teaching me to work only for the benefits of paycheck.  Work refines a very important spiritual discipline within us.  Work teaches us the spiritual gift of self-control.  That makes the curse of work a gift from our loving God.

God cursed work because we needed it to be cursed.  He had a purpose beyond punishment.

Idleness is all about self.  The sluggards are ruled by their selfish desires.  The lazy will prefer to sit and watch others work primarily because of a spiritual lack of self-control.  Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit.  It does not come to us naturally.  The sluggard lacks the self-control to turn from his natural desire toward self-gratification toward the service of others.

When God cursed work, He knew what He was doing.  He knew that man had a sinful heart whose greatest desire was going to be a love of self rather than God.  Self-love manifests itself in so many areas but our work ethic tends to be the most revealing. I would rather be served than to serve.  However, it is through work that the love for my neighbor can be seen.  It is through work that my love for God can be put on display.  When I am reclined in my idleness, all my words of theology are merely words.

Self-control spurs us out of the entropy of self-love and into service of others.  When work is intentional toward serving others, then we have a work ethic glorifying to God.

post hole (Photo credit: BarelyFitz)

I have now come full circle.  I am now the parent of a teenage son.  I have to get creative with tasks to make him sweat.  Hatching diabolical activities to make his life miserable is harder than I had thought.  It is often more work to get him to work than to just do the work. However, my efforts to make him work are about so much more than digging a few post holes.  It is about teaching him how to control a sinful and wayward heart.  The gift of God’s curse on work is a wonderful tool to tame the self-love of a sinful heart.  Work is good for his soul.

Someday, he will thank me.

PRAYER: Lord, thank you for your purpose behind work.  Help me to continue to learn the lessons of self-control in all the areas of my life including work. Lord, I want to be a good father to my son.  Help me to take the time to teach him how to work.  Give me the patience to continue to prod him along.  Father, do your work on his heart.  May your Spirit teach him self-control.  Grow in him the fruit of self-control so that he may glorify You in his service to others.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son,  Jesus Christ.   Amen.

“INSTRUCTION THAT MATTERS” – Mar. 3

“And Jehoash did what was right in the eyes of the Lord all his days, because Jehoiada the priest instructed him.” 2 Kings 12:2

What will be the words written on my son’s epitaph?

How will a generation who has yet to touch this earth’s soil speak of my daughter?

My children will have a legacy.  They will be known for something.  I wonder what it will be.  Every life is known for the particular fruit that it bears. What will be their fruit?

I have a specific hope for them.

We invest a lot of time instructing our kids in academic subjects.  I will be deeply satisfied if they become known for their intellect…but that is not my specific hope for their legacy.

I coach my daughter’s basketball team.  It will be a blessing if she receives a college athletic scholarship…but that is not what I hope she is known for.

My son has participated in speech competitions and done very well.  I will be very proud of him if venues are filled to hear his oration…but that is not the legacy that I pray will be his.

My children may gain all the accolades of this world.  They may climb to the top of a variety of ladders.  Their resumes may drip with awards and accomplishments.  Success may follow them like an obedient pet.

However, what have they gained if their legacy is a forfeited soul? (Matt. 16:26)

Every legacy has an origin.  The foundations of my children’s epitaphs are being formulated now.

My hope is that, Lord willing, long after I am gone, it will be said of my son, “he loved the Lord with all that he was, for all of his days, to the glory of God Almighty; he was a good and faithful servant of his Savior.”  That my daughter will be a virtuous woman of God whose remembrance brings forth smile as it is said, “she loved her Savior with all that she was, for all of her day, to the glory of God; she was a good and faithful servant of the King.’ 

I have no control over the legacy of my children.  Their faith is a gift from God to them.  However, this is not to suggest that my wife and I’s instruction is not without importance.  Jehoiada the priest was greatly used in the life of King Jehoash by instructing the young King.  We are told in proverbs, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6); Instructing a child in the Lord’s ways does matter.

As Matt Chandler has said, we are stacking kindling around our children with every Bible study, every encouragement in spiritual disciplines, every time we rely upon the Word, every prayer, every example of faithfully walking in the Spirit.  All of our instruction is spiritual fuel around the base of our children’s hearts.

There is no better sound to the ears of a child of God then to hear the “whoosh” of the Spirit sparking a mighty blaze of a passion for our Savior in the heart of our children to the praise and glory of our King.

My children’s legacies have begun.  The period of influential instruction is now.  Therefore, I want to be wise and focus on instructing them in those areas that will have eternal value and will result in an epitaph that will be a pleasing fragrance to our Father.

Now is the time of diligent instruction.  It matters.

PRAYER: Father, I know that the salvation of my kids is in your hands.  I pray Lord that you will save them and keep them.  Protect them from the evil one and lead them to persevere in their faith.  Father, I know and accept the responsibility that you have given me as a parent.  I know that I am modeling to them how to follow you.  Lord, give me the wisdom, understanding, and passion to show my kids how wonderful you are.  Father, take my kids and use them for your glory.    Amen

GUARANTEES IN PARENTING – Dec. 23th

“O Lord, please let the man of God whom you sent come again to us and teach us what we are to do with the child who will be born.” Judges 13:8

I think this is the prayer of every parent’s heart. We parents feel the incredible responsibility of raising and nurturing another life.  No responsible parent wants to fail at that task. One has to only investigate the parenting section of a bookstore to see that there is a significant demand for the answer to this question. Psychology has a whole branch devoted to investigating and researching child development to answer this question. Science is employed to discover the right methodology for raising our children to become well-adjusted adults.

I suspect that every responsible parent has looked at the precious little life asleep in those dark hours with a sense of fear and self-doubt – “I don’t want to screw this up. What am I to do with this child”.

It is the manufacturer’s operating manual that we seek. We want to be taught what to do with this child who has been given to us. The story of Samson encourages and discourages me. It reveals a reluctance in my heart to trust God. I want a guarantee; I want a standard operating procedure that will ensure the salvation of my child, if diligently followed. Unfortunately, the scriptures do not give such a guarantee.

Samson came from a home of devoted and dedicated parents who believed the promises of God. Yet, Samson was far from a Godly man. So, what went wrong with Samson? What did his parents do wrong?  Here is the hard part – probably nothing.  I have heard some teach that Samson’s parents were too indulgent.  They may have been. It is equally possible that his parents were not indulgent enough since they raised him as a Nazarite.  I am not sure how being over-indulging and the requirements of a Nazarite vow go together. However, look at how easy it is to fall into the “methodology mindset”. If Samson’s parents had only followed the right method, then Samson would have turned out different.  The problem with the methodology mindset is that we are missing a key ingredient – God.

I don’t believe that God looks at Samson with a shrug and goes, “that is too bad; not what I really had planned but I guess it will have to do – if only Samson’s parents had done a better job.”  I believe that Samson was clay in the master potter’s hand from his conception and that his life played out exactly as God had intended.

Nothing went wrong.

Each and every person is responsible to God for the decisions that they make, there is nothing that we parents can do to program our children’s hearts to get the decisions that we want.

That can either discourage or encourage us.  I choose to be encouraged.  I have screwed up a lot of things in my life.  I have been like Samson more times than I care to remember. I don’t have to worry about screwing up my kids’ faith but that doesn’t mean I am relieved of any responsibility.  Parents are one of the tools the Master Potter uses.  My Dad gave me some simple advice when I became a father.  I have modified it a bit but here it is:

Love God with all that I am,

Love my kids as myself,

Love my neighbors as myself,

Teach my kids how wonderful God is,

Train them how to follow God,

Do the best I can and trust God.

God is faithful and good.  My kids’ faith is too precious for God to leave in my hands as a sinful parent.  My kids are in the hands of their Creator; the hands of the Master Potter. The question for me is whether I trust him to mold them into what he has planned for them.

God is good and he knows what he is doing. There is no need to fear.

PRAYER: Father – Thank you for the precious gift of my children that you have given me.  Lord, I know that their lives are in your hands. I know that nothing is impossible for you. Lord, I pray for their salvation; draw them to yourself; set them apart as your children; give them hearts that are wholly devoted to you.  Lord, may they glorify you all of their days.  Father, help me to be a faithful parent to them; teach me how to teach them.  May they look upon my faith and desire to emulate that. Keep my feet upon the rock; don’t let me stumble.   Amen

WHAT DO YOUR STONES MEAN? – Nov. 28th

“When your children ask in time to come, “What do those stones mean to you?”” Joshua 4:7

It is our hope in the next couple years to take a family vacation to Washington, DC.  There is just something about standing in the same place that history was made or walking through memorials that makes history come to life. My kids are studying a lot of US History. I want that history to be more than just stories in a book.  We want it to mean something to them. I want it to be a reality to them.

My wife and I visited that USS Arizona memorial in Pearl Harbor. One grasps a much deeper meaning to the word sacrifice and appreciation for what prior generations have given us, when you stand over the watery tomb of those who have given it all in the service of their country.  After having been there, Pearl Harbor means more to me.  It is more than just a historical event by having stood there.  It is a reality to me.

That is the importance of memorials. They are important because we have short memories. They are important because what was real and relevant for one generation is usually less relevant to the next. This fact is even more important when we consider our faith. I don’t want my kids to live through my faith. I want them to come to their own passionate love of God.

There is a process that should concern every parent.  There is about a three generation cycle: one generation will be passionate about the faith that they have experienced directly; the next generation is luke-warm and follows the faith of their parents; the third generation falls away.  This cycle makes me concerned about my kids and especially about my future grand-kids. However, this cycle is not written in stone but it takes effort to break. It can be broken with memorials.

I need to be making specific efforts to create memorials in my life and the life of my family to ground us all in the reality of God’s faithfulness. I need to be active in pointing out to my kids that God is more than the abstract faith of their father. When God gets us through something tough, we need to make a memorial so that we will remember. When God blesses us, we need to make a memorial so that we will remember. These little reminders (a photograph, a nick-nack, a journal, etc.) are teaching opportunities for our kids. They are stones that will get our kids to asks, “What does that mean to you?”  Stones that will make the faith of one generation more of a reality to the next.

Our kids are watching our lives.  We are creating stones of memorials all the time to that which is important in our lives.  Ask any adult child, “what was important to your Dad; what was important to your Mom” and they will be able to tell you.  That is because every parent leaves stones of memorials to their priorities. The manner in which we live our faith is our kids normal. They will pattern their lives based on what we demonstrate as important. I want my kids to see a faith that is real so that they will seek a relationship with God that is real, deep, passionate…alive.  I want my kids to live a life full of stones of memorials that get their kids, my grandkids, to ask, “what does that mean to you?”.  That is a true legacy but legacies start in the present. It is time to gather some stones today.

PRAYER: Lord, I pray for the salvation of my kids; draw them to yourself; make their faith real and show yourself to them. Lord – prepare them to live a life that is glorifying to you.  Father – help me to be a father to them that points them to you; may my faith be a memorial to them of your faithfulness. Help me to live in such a way that they will want more of you. Amen