November 30, 2013

“And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

PetI am always searching for advice on triathlons, running, cycling, and swimming.  This is how I coach myself.  I know  it is not as good as the real thing but it is all that I am willing to pay for.  In my typical search of cycling blogs, I ran across the (Coming to Terms with) Becoming the Other Woman blog.  It did not contain the content that I was seeking but it affected my heart to the extent that I could not set it aside and get on with my morning devotions.

This blog chronicles the path of a nurse’s affair with a doctor.  I was once again reminded of the advice of my father.  I wrote about his advice in The Petraeus in all of Us so I won’t repeat myself.  However, I will repeat my heartfelt warning to myself and my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Beware of who you befriend!

The nurse’s story struck a chord with me due to the commonality of circumstances.  Her relationship started through cycling.  Her bond with this other man developed through the familiarity of work.  They grew to the point of being able to complete each other’s sentences.  They relied upon one another and confided in each other.  They become one with each in an affair of the mind before they ever took it to a bedroom.

Her commonality of circumstance is a path open to most of us if we are not careful to guard the path.

I ride with a cycling club that includes female riders.
I work with women.
I go to church with women.

I love and praise God for the women who are in my life.  I appreciate all that they bring into this world.  My world is such a better place due to the women who inhabit it.  I know that I could covet the affections of one of these other women if I were to allow my heart to wander.

However, I am called to one woman – my wife.

I know the danger of another woman being able to complete my thoughts.  I do not want another woman to confide in me.  I do not want to share myself with another woman.  Affairs are rarely fits of passion.  They are slow estrangements from the one who we committed our lives to.  We must take care to protect our affections.  We must guard the access to the oneness of our hearts.

I know that there are brothers and sisters in Christ who are flirting with the affections of others.

I know that there are some who are enjoying the pursuit of someone who is not their own.

I know that are many out there who fantasize about someone other than their spouse.

I know that there are some who are so unhappy in their marriage that they long for companionship.

Auzigog / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

I plead with you to stop!
I beg you to open your eyes to what you are really doing.
I implore you not to seek emotional affirmation from someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.

I beseech you to guard you heart.

Do not come to terms with being the other man or woman.
Do not believe the lie, buried in coveting, that this other person will satisfy you.
Do not strive up or awaken love for someone else.

Seek your satisfaction in the One who will not disappoint.
Be completed by the only One who can truly complete you.
Know the joy of abounding love and faithfulness that comes only from God.

Bring your healed and redeemed soul into your fragile and flawed marriage and
then let God transform your marriage into the glorifying union it was meant to be.

Start with guarding your heart.
Begin with taking care in who you are befriending.

PRAYER: O Lord, thank you for my beautiful wife – she is my beloved and my friend.  Thank you for bringing her into my life – I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.  Thank you for all the joy that has come into my life through her.  Lord, you know that I am prone to be dissatisfied for no real reason.  You know that I have a thirst for what is false through the media.  You know that my eyes glance over the grass on the other side of the fence.  Father forgive me for my covetous heart.  Thank you for guarding my heart.  Thank you for keeping me from the adulterous.  Lord, keep my marriage pure; bind our hearts to one another; interweave our emotions so that we may be one.  Lord, lead us to rely upon You for our satisfaction rather than each other.  May we glorify you in our lives and our marriage.  I pray this in the precious name of your Son,  Jesus Christ.   Amen.


  1. Very sobering and a warning that I hope many readers will take seriously…thank you, a good warning for me as well!

  2. Very, very well put. Many thanks for the reminder.

  3. To stay pure and true starts with the desire to stay pure and true just as the desire to stray outside the boundaries and experiment with coloring outside the lines. Creatively stepping into the rush of oncoming traffic is deadly excitement.

    God bless your home abc life for your faithfulness.

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